Twice and it still feels heavy

The moment I read the news, I felt my heart skipped a beat. I had let out a gasp, and then an “Oh no, this can’t be true.”

Maybe it was a tasteless joke of a trickster who mistook August 9 as the April Fools’ Day. Maybe it was  promotional scheme. Maybe he’s still there, playing his bass, donning his hair with curls and peacock feathers. Maybe we’ll still see Versailles live. Maybe it’s a lie. maybe scribbling his name over and over will make it unreal. It’s just so hard to believe, let alone accept. I didn’t imagine something like this. The death of a performer I’ve never even seen in person has made me depressed.

Even from the start I viewed their claims of being vampires and immortals as something irrational, a part of the facade, an added ingredient just for the fun of it. But maybe somehow, subconsciously, I believed it. I believed that they’ll always be there, that the aesthetics, talent, charisma, glamor, and music I admire them for will last a long, long time, and would not just pop and vanish away this abruptly.

If I could grieve for the deaths of fictional (anime) characters I’ve come to love, what more for the loss of a real person, a musician loved by fans from the world over for real talent and will, and (as I’ve read) kindness and a smile he could easily give them.

I just feel an overflowing sadness, somehow indescribable as my friends and I sent messages to one another filled with “waa’s” — a wail, a scream, a deep sigh, a helpless cry. They could be anything. I wasn’t personally  a huge, huge fan. But still we loved their music and style. Attending even just one of their concerts was one of the things I dreamed of doing (hearing Kamijo’s opening trademark, “Bonjour, Honey!”) if I will be able to go to Japan. It’s just really sad that the quintet would never be the same again. It must have been unbearable to Kamijo, Hizaki, Teru and Yuki. Of the five, he was the witch of the story. What would a medieval fairy tale be with its vampire, queen, a distressed boy, and a hunter, without the witch? And as Bjorn said, “Ano na ang mundo kung wala ang Versailles?”

I do wonder what it really would be. They’ve started making their name not only in their country but in Europe and US as well. A few years in the future, maybe, they wouldv’e reached the shores of this countyr. But perhaps, it’s just a faraway dream now.

One jrock angel has gone back to where he was sent from.

So long, Kageyama Yuuichi / Jasmine You…

Here’s a translation of an interview with Versaiiles. It was evident how fun everybody has being in the band. Sigh. Jasmine…

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Yes, I had to write this to lighten the feeling… I hope it will.