So why did I end up being here? XD

While on a ride home, I had two high school teachers as co-passengers. They were tired, and they were exchanging stories about their respective classes. Listening–erm, eavesdropping more like, made me remember my first dream profession when I was a kid. It was to become a teacher. It was during the time when you realized there are a lot of  other people out there, and that going to school each day seemed like a new adventure–new friends, nursery rhymes, new school things, and teachers to look up to. 

 And then, when I was growing up, I saw how hard it could be being a teacher with those bratty students, meetings, books, and all the bothersome things which go with formal teaching. And so I changed my dream profession. I suddenly wanted to be an accountant. Why? I don’t know. Except for the fact that my aunt is one, I didn’t know anything about it. =))

Then, Sophie Neveu came along. If you don’t know her, I’m not telling, it’s quite pathetic. XD Because of her, I wanted to learn French, and go to France. For what purpose, who knows? I just wanted to be like her. Yikes. XD

Some time later, after I’ve read a novel about  a brilliant  female doctor, I felt the urge to be a medical practitioner. Haha. Dr. Paige Taylor was a beautiful, kind, strong, intelligent, and compassionate physician, with a charming love story, and quite an eventful practice during her first few years as a doctor in the midst of male chauvinism. Tsk. 

But after I discovered the pleasure of reading, I found writing as the best way to be me. I could keep silent for all I care, I didn’t need to talk much, since I’m not really very sociable (even with friends I’m close to). The pen and paper suddenly became my companions. I started writing notes, pathetic poems and other life-is-so-boring-I’m-no-good whatnots. Fortunately, our school paper accepted me as a writer, and I found something I enjoyed doing. I had friends with me who joined as well, but it was something I could call my own. And despite the presure, I was happy. :]

However, I didn’t think I would be doing such for a career in the future. In fact, I don’t know what to do in college after those years in high school. My first two years in the university were such confusing and troubled times. I really didn’t know where to go. They said, “Just do what it is that you want.” But, wth, I’m not good at anything, where am I suppposed to be?! I don’t have all the time and the resources in the world to dilly dally as I wanted. I was really desperate, I was looking for signs. Well, either I’m too dumb to “see” them, or they didn’t come, I was confused until the last minute.

But I believe, God came to my aid then. I came to think, “Hey, it wouldn’t be so bad to take Journ, since you loved it, right?” Yeah, well, I had to make myself believe it, or else I’ll be doomed. So I took the test, and for some two or three weeks, I waited for the results with bated breath. It was really make or break. And, well, I got accepted. HE’s just so wonderful, and I’m thanking Him ever since. ;]

Now, it’s been almost two months since I left my old home (my former college) for this new one. I’ll have to admit, I definitely miss CAL, especially the couple of good friends I’m fortunate to have there. (Oh, and I miss the library!) I still feel very out-of-place, it seems like everybody knew each other. And they all look so confident. Gah. Or maybe I just have a bad case of inferiority complex. 

 Either way, I’ll have to do my best now. I can’t fail again.