Time goes so fast, Heaven is lost

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Prof: O, bakit ganyan ang buhok mo?
Classmate: I was sleeping a while ago, sir.
Prof: Is it that time of the sem already?
Classmate: Sir?
Prof: Is is that time of the sem already—when you don’t get sleep?
Classmate: Yes, Sir, I think.
Prof: Ah, I don’t think it is yet. It is that time of the sem already when you have to content yourself with just eating instant cup noodles, and you don’t take a bath anymore.

[Whew. Darating din tayo diyan, sir. XD]

Prof: Ikaw, may bagsak ka na?
Classmate1: None yet, sir.
Prof: Talaga?
Classmate1: Yes, sir.
Prof: Dapat meron kang bagsak para masabing regular na UP student ka. Ikaw, may bagsak ka na?
Classmate2: Uhmm. Isa sir.
Prof: Ano?
Classmate: Math17 sir.
Prof: Dapat talaga may bagsak ka para masabing regular UP student ka… Kung wala kang bagsak… eh di hindi ka regular UP student.

[Haha, nasabaw ako dun.]

 ——-

Another two weeks to go and the semester’s going to end. Somehow, I want it not to, just yet. Or I want the time to stop altogether, because of two reasons.

Firstly, I have tons to do. I haven’t dealt with my regional literature paper seriously at this juncture. It’s the one about aswang, and although there are quite a number of books discussing it, my Prof’s preferences are driving me out of my wits. She wants me to do things about this stupid paper, which I don’t want to do. And I’m thinking, “Hello. I’m the one doing the research. Do your own if you really want that.” XD

Another paper is also due in less than 3 weeks’ time. This time, it’s for my J100 [History of the Press] class. And I haven’t thought of a clear topic yet, which should be about an issue of the Philippine media. Well, I have an idea or two, but I still would want to talk to my prof about them. Silly, really. Since she said at the beginning of the course that we should start doing the paper around August, because she noted that most (if not all) of her students only work on the paper when it’s due in about a month. My (our) case is probably worse. ((:

And then, I still have to make that scrapbook about my life for my Psych101. It would be a work-intensive project, I know. But I’m sort of looking forward to doing it. [I want to engage myself again in some sort of a creative project, which I haven’t done since high school, maybe.] That is, after I’m done with the first two papers.

Which brings me to the second reason why I don’t want this sem to end yet. I’m enjoying my Psych101 class tremendously. The topics are very interesting. During high school, I even thought of taking up Psychology, but let it go. It was a fleeting thought and I dismissed it because my tita was already pursuing her degree in the field, and probably one in the family is enough. XD But yeah, I really liked my General Psychology class. It’s one I class I feel so comfortable in, and I really looked forward to it every Wednesday and Friday. Well, psychology has sparked a new (or renewed) interest in me. I’m seriously considering taking it as my minor—3 more psych courses, and then maybe when I graduate, I could claim, “I’m a Journalism major, minor in Psychology.” XD

Sigh. Who doesn’t want good long days of rest? I certainly want to get through all these heaps of papers and exams, and stress. But for now, I wish this sem would get longer and time would slow down, since I couldn’t keep up with it in its normal pace, more so now since the colds finally hit me. [I really thought I wouldn’t get colds this year, even if I get wet frequently because of the unpredictable weather.] Now, I coulnd’t funtion well.

My workload’s screaming at me to get them done, and I want to scream back, 

“Dude, I need a Guido… I mean, a pit stop, too!” 

 

 

 

Ess pissed XD

Saturday, September 19, 2009

My younger sister seems to be the firsthand victim of my irate disposition these past few weeks. I easily get mad and impatient. Perhaps, I was not really born a patient and calm person to begin with, but lately, it appears even to myself that I get angry irrationally.

 

It’s probably because I don’t have somebody or something to breathe out to these frustrations about university life. Everything—from exams to papers to reviews and deadlines—that I had to do, I had to do well, and quick. I keep assigning the tasks to do on particular days on my battered planner but somehow, I can’t get most of them done. And that causes me to panic and get tensed. I would then feel guilty because of the time I “wasted” or because I wasn’t able to give the task my best shot. Everything seems to be a blur, and so fast I doubt I could keep up. I would even end up surprised, during rare free moments I had, that I wasn’t able even just to get a haircut or trim my fingernails. Capping everything off are some of the professors demanding too much or are just plain irrational. Geez. I do wonder, whatever made me think I could ever emerge victorious from UP? XD

The lack of sleep and even lack of time for myself are making me so easily irritated that I sometimes vent it on my younger brother or sister. Yeah, it’s very wrong but I couldn’t help it—I would just flare up and dismiss them whenever I think they’re disturbing “the busy” me. This is probably striking since when I’m not in good mood, either gloomy or seethingly mad, I usually just keep quiet. I won’t talk until I get a good night’s sleep or cried it out silently. But maybe now’s different since, I dunno, the weight isn’t just emotional: it was more physical. Haha.

 Meh. I just hope to get through all these hurdles at the end of this sem. I think I deserve at least a week of break without having to worry about waking up early to finish a paper or something…

My Goals and Motivations, and Everything in Between

Friday, September 11, 2009

This is actually a sort of refelction paper for my General Psychology class, but I wanted to post it here as well.
It’s not very coherent, haha. I was cramming, darn it.

           Just as the book said, having such a fuzzy and nonspecific goal as “being successful” wouldn’t be too much of a help. I’m actually one of those who would simply aspire to be “successful” with no particular goal in mind. In fact, I honestly didn’t know what to do, and what I would want to do in the future, until this year started. For one thing, I don’t know what I’m good at, that is if I’m good at anything at all. Eventually, I decided to take writing seriously and shifted to Journalism, since it’s the sole thing I’ve enjoyed doing when I was in high school.

            Now, it has become apparent to me that being a competent and respected media practitioner would be my long-term goal. (That is, if we set aside my goals of getting very rich, touring the whole world, and having my own fairy tale, for the purpose of a more sensible discussion.) Everybody wanted to excel in an endeavor and be the best that they could possibly be. However, this doesn’t seem to be my case. Of course, I wanted to succeed for my own self-actualization. But since I’m not too properly individualistic, I’m probably thinking of pleasing first the people around me who, since I made it into the University, believed in my capabilities.  Now that I’ve learned that intrinsic motivation would be able to give a person more satisfaction as he achieves a goal, perhaps I could try focusing on my own self-determination when aspiring for and doing certain things.

            Just recently I thought of working my way up to be a writer for internationally-acclaimed publications, i.e. newspapers or magazines. But on second thinking, maybe it’s still too far off, and only having this goal in my mind wouldn’t make me accomplish the steps I have to take to get there. So, to achieve this, I’ve been always attempting to set realistic objectives, and my foremost goal for now is to do well and excel in my academics and deepen my understanding of the field. Even if I always find trouble setting priorities, I know I have to. Just like setting the annual New Year’s resolution, I decided to study first, before doing anything else. I also tried listing down the things I had to do for the week. Sometimes, I get them done, but more often, I still don’t. That is why I have to discipline myself more. My friends and I are almost always complaining about the heaviness of our school works. And probably, what keeps me from finishing what I have to do is time mismanagement. I always get tempted to do other things like watching an anime or reading manga, or going out occasionally with friends even if I have an exam or report the next day (or for short, peer pressure). And then there’s the Internet that keeps me “technostresssed.”

            For now, I wanted to get pleasing grades this semester, and get accustomed to my new college—new environment, new policies and way of doing things, new people. So far, I think the grades I’ve been getting are acceptable (I just have to settle the requirements, like papers, as the semester nears its end). My main concern now is actually more psychological in nature. I wanted to be able to remove, or at least lessen my shyness and feelings of inferiority because the college I’m in is the place where prolific and confident communicators are. Somehow, I don’t feel like I could satisfactorily be like them. I don’t know if I could call it paranoia, but this feeling of inferiority and total lack of confidence actually keeps me from being at-ease even with myself and the surroundings I work at.

            I once read somewhere that “Excellent things are as difficult as they are rare.” To help me realize these short-term and long-term goals, I know I have to work hard, stay focused, and sacrifice the things I would have enjoyed doing (or not doing). Together with my reliable planner, and consistent self-reminders, I may be able to prioritize what should be prioritized. Also, perhaps, I could condition myself to be more assured of my own abilities. An attempt to socialize and gain confidence from it would also probably be beneficial to building my self-esteem.. More importantly, the “expectations” my family and friends have for me could serve me better as motivation rather than as pressures and constant reminders of what they wanted me to be.

:)

Fairy Tales

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

STARDUST  

Idle hours in the library (oh, I want them back!) showed me M is for Magic—a book of short stories by Neil Gaiman. The stories were clever and funny and I found myself wanting for more. And so I stumbled upon the novel Stardust.

With enough conflicts and colorful characters to keep the story going, the tale of young Dunstan Thorn (and later with Yvaine, the fallen star) is a good read, feeding the child in one’s imagination with castles and princes—brothers killing each other for the throne, witches and magical trinkets, with a unicorn a flying ship along the way. After reading the book, I immediately downloaded the movie adaptation. For all intents and purposes, the motion picture stayed true to the book, although of course some elements were missed. Some of these are Dunstan’s step-sister, and the furry creature/man who helped Dunstan find his destination. But it’s still enjoyable and magical.

One of the things I like the most was the spin the movie took about the captain of the ship in the sky. In the book, he was but a normal captain, but in the movie, he was the macho-outside-but-ballerina-inside captain. How hilarious it was to see Robert de Niro tottering around in a pink tutu! XD

For a good dose of magic and adventure, of discovering love and having a good heart, the Stardust would be a good treat.

Una, Yvaine, Dunstan and the Seven Princes LOL

——-

CAT IN THE RED BOOTS

This is actually a stage play, a play which I would very much like to watch live. Why, it featured Ikuta Toma!

After months of waiting, it was finally subbed and I was able to watch my first butai (in the middle of piling school works, thank you very much). Hehe. The story is a spin-off of the classic fairy tail Puss in Boots. Indeed a spin-off it was, as familiar names kept popping up. Starting with the Hogwarts School in whose treasure room a magical object is being guarded by the three students–Harry, Ron, and Hermione (Harmi for short, haha). Meanwhile, a stray cat named Nora (played by the very cute Marika Matsumoto) befriends Toma (yes! XD), the youngest son of the poor miller who died. His two elder and rowdy brothers were left with the mill and the donkey, while Toma only received his father’s diary of made-up stories and fantasy tales. Hopeless though as he was, his fateful acquaintance with Nora brought forth a story Toma never imagined he would be a part of.

The king of Anderson kingdom, King Charles, wanted his daughter, Princess Gretel to select her husband-to-be as soon as possible. However her evil stepmother, Queen Rapunzel, wanted Gretel to marry someone else for the former’s own gain. The strong-willed Princess Gretel rebels. And out of nowhere comes the miller’s son, Toma, who with Nora’s help was able to project himself as a royalty—Earl Kayuino Toma-sama, and who also rose up to the challenge of being a competitor for the Princess’s hand in marriage…

Did he succeed? Or was the story, written for him by Nora, not written the way it should be?

With tons and tons of funny moments and punchlines, amazing musicality and choreography, sword fights and dragons, topped with the powerful pull a theater performance can create, and Toma’s great great musical and acting prowess (and energy!), Cat in the Red Boots is a good take on the well-loved fairy tale.

And in my part, it was certainly worth the wait! :]

——–

FAIRY TAIL

OhyeahErzamygoddessherewego!!!!

The news that Hiro Mashima’s comedy-adventure manga, Fairy Tail, would be made into anime was one of the best anime-related news I’ve ever received. I almost screamed for joy~

It was really a dream come true, since I sooo sooo love Erza-sama, and of course, the rest of the gang, too—Natsu, Lucy, Happy, and…. Gray! Haha. It would start airing in October, and I’m friggin excited. See, I couldn’t write properly. Haha.

 ——-

 ALICE IN WONDERLAND 

Aaah. Another spazz-worthy to-watch. Why can’t March 2010 come faster?

The Alice in Wonderland movie by Tim Burton stars Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter. The trailer looks so awesome, doesn’t it? 8D

Johnny Depp was enough for me, seriously, but Anne Hathaway (as the White Queen) and Helena Bonham Carter (as the Red Queen) are also in it! How cooler can this movie get!

“Some say to survive it, you have to be as mad as a hatter…which luckily, I am.”

Gosh. I’ll certainly be one of the firsts to hit the theaters come March 5 next year. 

——-

Oh, fairy tales. I want one of my own…

Who doesn’t anyway? XD

"What’s on your mind?"

Sunday, September 6, 2009

It’s official, I’ll be boycotting Facebook until the end of this semester. Haha. Well, I’ve always told myself that I’ll do it, but I end up opening my account and doing pointless things for hours anyway. With this semester nearing its end, I’m bound to busy myself with academic matters and requirements.

This social network site appealed to me because “my friends are doing it.” Gosh. I’m so pathetic. Indeed, the reason I keep logging in is because I want to be in the know of what my friends are doing, thinking and talking about. Perhaps another pull FB got on me were the games, but since I don’t care anymore, I’ve left them behind. I’ve lost interest after a few weeks, unlike my sister who gets grumpy lately when she can’t go online (because she got tons of homework, yes). Moreover, the level of the virtual pets, the grandiose of the virtual restaurants, and the progress of the virtual farm (among others I don’t know of) had become some sort of status symbols among her and her friends. Meh. They’re kids, I’ll let them have that.  

Oh well. To each his own taste. Please add me up, anyway. XD

August 31

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

I have a report and an exam in the morning of a Tuesday. The Saturday before it, there was a black-out. On Sunday, I finished reading the materials for this very very long report. Monday, around 1 am I woke up to start making the presentation for my report. I was, truth be told, hurrying it up, wishing I could finish it before noon because that day, Monday, was my very dear friend Kirstie’s birthday and we had agreed to go out and eat.

And then it was already lunchtime. I failed to finish it as soon as I wanted. And so I told Mimi I couldn’t come. After eating lunch I decided to take a power nap, depressed. I even plurked, “I really hate it when I couldn’t go out with friends because of pesky acads.” I really felt that bad because with the demands of college, we have not seen each other as often as we should/used to. But come 3 pm, my father woke me up and told me someone’s at the door looking for me. With my bed head and tired eyes, I got out to see Russel, Carlo, Philipp, and the birthday celebrant, Kirstie!

Of course, they wanted me to come with them. Of course, too, I wanted to go. But my superego was dominating. I told them I was sorry I couldn’t because I was still not done with the report and I hadn’t even started studying for the exam, and so on. We were bargaining at the doorway for about more than half an hour. Thinking back, it was rather hilarious, but a bit touching as well. I mean, they went out of their way to fetch me when I had already told them I couldn’t come. They’ve practically said anything to persuade me (in Tagalog, of course): “Come on, we waited at the meeting place for 3 hours!” “Kirstie’s birthday comes only once a year,” “We’ll stay only until 6, then promise, we’ll go home,” “Don’t study! Let’s fail together. I have an exam tomorrow at 7am and I haven’t studied yet, too. I still have to go back to my dorm!” These and the fact that they wouldn’t accept no for an answer after they went through the trouble to fetch me of course they won’t XD made me agree eventually. And so I hurried and took a bath while they waited and phoned Claire to tell her to come, too.

It was really amazing how we still felt comfortable with each other, ranting our hearts out about the cruelty of university life, and gossiping about others (haha) and talking and laughing on just about anything. It was rather energy-draining but somehow rejuvenating. I think the highlight of the night was how we spooned (not sliced!) the huge ice cream cake. We were only seven then (Claire, Mimi, Russel, Carlo, Kirstie, Philipp and me) and the cake was more than enough for us, especially after having our fill of a rice meal. We were in a decent, civilized restaurant, but the mess and racket we made were enough to cause some stares from others. But when did we ever care anyway? XD

After such a tiring dinner slash ice cream cake overload, we went back to the parking lot, not to go home yet (as I had kept on insisting), but to take pictures still—the camwhores! XD

 Inside the car with Russel driving, and everyone still with the sugar rush perhaps, I finally gave up trying to read the reviewers I brought (with the hope of studying even just a bit).Instead, while almost-lying on one of the spacious backseats, I shrugged my superego off: Who cares? I had one of the most fun escapades with the most awesome friends anyway!

Reaching home at around 10pm, I proceeded to finishing my report. At 8 am I was finally done and I went straight to prepare for my 10am class.  [Zero sleep, thanks very much.]